Jade Goody's crack admission

Monday, 8 September 2008

Jade Goody once smoked crack cocaine in a desperate bid to make her mother Jackiey stop taking the addictive drug.

The former 'Celebrity Big Brother' contestant - who recently found out she is battling cervical cancer - was so determined to force Jackiey to wean herself off the drug that she decided to take drastic measures.

Jade - who has two sons Bobby, five, and Freddie, three, with ex-husband Jeff Brazier - said: "One day I sat in my room and thought, 'I'm never going to beat the drugs. They're always going to win'.

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"And I can't believe I'm admitting this, but a voice in my head said, 'I might as well do a bit of crack myself. I might as well go the same way as her. At least then we'd be together'.

"I wiped the tears from my face and walked out of my bedroom to the lounge, where she was smoking crack. I kept telling myself, 'Be brave, Jade'.

"I decided to show her how nasty and heartbreaking it was to see a member of your family - your own flesh and blood - killing themselves in front of your very eyes. I took some of her crack, put it in a Rizla paper to make a joint, and I smoked it.

"I felt dirty and disgusting. 'How does it make you feel watching me do this?' I asked. I'd foolishly thought that if she could see what it looked like - and if she thought that her own daughter was about to go to the same dark place she was - she would put a stop to it."

Jade, 27, also recalled the point when she finally decided she had had enough of her mother's selfish behaviour.

She writes in her new autobiography 'Jade: Catch a Falling Star': "I stormed into the lounge, rushed over to where Mum was, grabbed her by the throat and pushed her hard up against the wall. I was nearly choking her, but I didn't care. I was swinging her round the lounge like she was a rag doll - she was so weak from the drugs.

"Finally she started to retaliate and we began to have a proper, full-blown fight. She punched me and I whacked her back. It must have gone on about half an hour. I had a big black eye and cuts all over my face and so did she.

"It had got to the point where I'd asked her to choose either me or the crack - and she'd chosen the crack. That killed me, because my dad had chosen drugs over me too."

'Jade: Catch a Falling Star' is released on October 6.

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